Unbelievable...

Psst. Yeah you. You like reading, man? You wanna reeeeeed? Oh you do? My man, I can take care of you, tonight. 2.99 a read, man. 2.99... top notch words. Top notch words. You a cop? I said, "Are you a friggin' COP?! Sorry man, it was a test - I had to test you, there. Wha? I don't know man, a book about a baby or something - look, you want to read tonight or what because I got a line of folk who DO, okay? Of course I don't have it on me, you think I'm nuts? I know a guy who knows some guys. I can give you their names...

Ivan Ibookstore
Barney Barnes&Noble
Karl Kobo
Sir Richmond Worthington of the Smashwords Residence

Yeah you can trust them. Good gift - great gift. Tell them Dave sent you and everything will be coo - what? No I "don't sell drugs, too"! What kind of operation do you think I'm running here?!

Unbelievable...